My Quick, Stupid, Unedjumacated Patriotic Thingamajigga

by jonnahzkennedy


One thing that America happens to be good at is either showing it or rejecting it. There are plenty of Internet Americans who despise America, and the human race, with a passion despite the fact that they are a human and they are of the American nationality. Yet, because of some of the moves that the government has made, they absolutely hate America. They just wish they could fly away to Switzerland and despise America with an even more deeply rooted passion. Some people just can’t help but think about, all the time, how America is the great second coming of the Roman Empire, soon to fall about itself in corruption and evil and terrorism and religion and ethnic cleansing and cops and the obesity and education…you get the point: people, Americans even, love to hate America.

I love America. I do: I get to do basically whatever the hell I want to, so long as it’s in the confines of the law, which, to be sure, are pretty fucking wide reaching. Sure, you can’t murder children and then have sex with their bleeding corpses while their parents watch and while you shoot heroin, but you can come pretty close and get off Scott-free, and that’s simply a fault of the justice system and their own laws, but as I was saying: you can get away with a lot in America. For this matter, my patriotism doesn’t come from placing my hand on my heart and professing undying loyalty to my country under God (who I don’t believe in, by the way). My patriotism comes from the history and the accomplishments that this country has made in the few centuries it has stood, it comes from the fact that, comparably, we live in a pretty damn good place; even the worst off of us live better than the worst off people in India or China. People still flock to America, and sure our system isn’t perfect, but people still want to come here.

“Oh boy I hate them goddamned Injuns comin’ in and buyin’ my beer and eatin’ my food and shittin’ in my toilet, just wish I could takes my gun and shoot them fuckers up like Columbine, whew, wouldn’t it be sweat.” Only in America could I possibly say that, honestly: combing redneck hillbillery with a national tragedy that shook the nation and still laugh about it. I’m glad to live in America, and honestly, I really wouldn’t want to live anywhere else; I can’t even imagine living anywhere else. I love America not because of our Army, our pledge, or our government: I love America because I love America, because of what we have achieved so far and what we can achieve in the future, and the fact that because of America, I have such a mentality as to believe, and assert, that one day I will be a success and that one day my dreams will come true.